28 Conclusion

On the Way. (Tomasito photo)

28

Conclusion

The above short and light-hearted winter holiday pilgrimage from Kolbermoor to Altotting was undertaken during some spare time I had in Germany as I was waiting for some documents that would allow me to return to Russia.

This solo walk was delightfully worthwhile to me, though I do not count it as a serious pilgrimage.

As you have probably noticed, I was far too interested in the curious and inspiring sights and sounds of the countryside to totally immerse myself body and soul in the peculiar state of consciousness induced by the sustained and concentrated chanting of the Jesus Prayer or any other mantra—as I have said, this dedicated spiritual work must perhaps be primary. Everything should vanish leaving the pilgrim present only as prayer.

Except for short flashes, this, for me, extraordinary state did not occur during my walk to Altotting. I remained a pilgrim, and never became a prayer.
Of course, people such as the fictitious story-sharing pilgrims of Chaucer’s narrative could not be considered real pilgrims of the spiritual sort either—though they may gain much from their journey.
Perhaps real pilgrimage will never be written about under the strictly disciplined conditions I expect are required. A real pilgrim couldn’t carry a camera because the conscious search for photographic images would probably interfere with being a prayer. Then making a story of what happens—the inner dialogue that a writer often carries on with his muse as he puts his experiences into words—that also might be a counterproductive activity for a real pilgrim.
Also I had money enough to spend every night in a nice bed and breakfast or hotel—and I could buy food or anything else I needed on the way, so I never had to depend on being provided for from the mysterious spiritual world. I was not totally dependent, as I have been during other pilgrimages—and that seems to me to make a great difference.

Even the fact that I speak some German and was not travelling in a country where the people speak what is to me an unknown tongue made me feel less dependent on the spirit.
But I can conceive of a spiritually self-realized pilgrim who can carry a camera and keep a diary—a pilgrim who could even use a credit card to pay for meals and hotel expenses during a time limited pilgrimage but who nevertheless embodies his prayer (mantra).

I am presently not that pilgrim, but as they say, I’m not finished yet
And so, after a few days in the pilgrimage town of Altotting, I walked to the town’s railway station, caught the afternoon train back to Rosenheim, transferred to the local Kolbermoor car and in an hour or two was relating these adventures to my friends.

Tomasito, 2009

Written from May 2000 in San Diego, California to December, 2002 in Merced, California

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