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Johnny Petrified

Since that first experience as a “professional teacher” I’ve been in classrooms full of VERY naughty and downright BAD kids—being taught by VERY good teachers––and the classes have been great, quiet, disciplined, and organized––well, my class wasn’t like that at all. It was fun, exciting––and I do believe the kids learned something and enjoyed the experience, but , for me, easy it wasn’t.

I worked like a dog every day to keep up with all the things I thought the kids should do and learn––and there was one boy––Johnny ****** (and his last name I remember very well and will never forget but which I will leave out of this memoir since he has probably become the respected CEO of an important company) who kept the class on the exciting edge of chaos every day.

Johnny was never absent! He LOVED school. He was cute––all the girls loved him, and athletic––all the boys admired him and I even liked him myself, but what a pain in the neck he was to me. In many ways it was more HIS class than mine! He only missed one day the entire year and that day was scholastic paradise for all of us. Relaxed, we went about the daily routine without wondering what sort of mischief Johnny would come up with next!

I did get a sort of revenge on Johnny though. I had the class put on a play one evening for the parents and the rest of the school and the play I chose was “The Sandalwood Box”, an adaptation of one of Washington Irving’s “Tales from the Alhambra”.

The story of the play is that of the quest by a young man into a magically enchanted cave to recover a sandalwood box. Of course the enchanted cave is filled with treasure and is guarded by a black slave with a terrible sword. But (!) the slave-guard is also enchanted and cannot move or speak—“only his eyes can move” I as the director instructed Johnny! So the whole time the lead of the play was in the enchanted cave, Johnny had to stand still as a statue with only his eyeballs moving!

I thought it was brilliant casting and gripping theater––and Johnny was happy because he got to carry a huge wicked-looking scimitar made of cardboard and tinfoil.

Tomasito, 2009


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